Into Your Gravity
by Samantha Joan
Summary: "Hate you," she offered, lamely, nudging him as she got to her feet."You too,"he whispered. He leaned down towards her. "Always."    Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long...
1. Just A Moment of Change

**Starts post iLove You, then into their senior year. A girl & a guy can be just friends, but sooner or later, they'll fall for each other. It may be too soon, it may be too late. Or maybe, it might be forever.**

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><p><em><strong>Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long.<strong>_

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><p><em>"So," Sam sighed starring down at the small box she'd placed in front of her, "shall we get this over with?" <em>

_The unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach was growing by the second, and she just really want to be done with this part._

_Freddie matched her sigh, opening the box reserved for her and nodded. "Let's do it." _

_"Hey, guys -" They turned around to see Carly walking down the stairs. "Rehearsal starts in fifteen, you guys coming up?"_

_"Yeah," she answered her, "we're just, giving each other back the other's stuff. Dorkward here," she stressed the word only half attempting to be insulting, "insisted it would be 'therapeutic.'" _

_"Ah, so we're back to the name calling?" Freddie cut in, and she caught the smirk he gave her._

_She laughed. "Oh, let's be real –– it's a miracle I lasted this long." _

_"No argument here." _

_"Well okay then," Carly voiced over the both of them. "I'm going to...not be here. Good luck you two."_

_"Thanks." _

_"Gracias." _

_"Um," Sam started slowly, "do you want me to go first or..."_

_"Sure." He looked back at her with a soft smile and honestly it took everything in her power not to just say 'screw it' and kiss him absolutely senseless._

_This was really happening, she thought. _

_They were over._

_"The Cuddle Fish CD you lent me after the concert." She handed it to him, carefully making sure that she kept her eyes fixed on the box and not his eyes. "Galaxy Wars I...and II," she finally looked up and lightly elbowed him. "I can't believe you made watch them."_

_He grinned that stupid adorable Freddie grin at her. "As if you didn't like it." _

_She just waved her hand and rummaged through the box again. "Whatever. Next," she stopped short holding up the next item, her breath getting caught in her throat for a moment, "your, um, your plaid shirt that you left at my place."_

_She knew that he knew that she'd purposely never returned it to him. _

_It was warm and cozy and smelt like him and she'd taken to using it as a night shirt. One night when they were up video chatting, he'd noticed and beamed adding,"nice shirt you got on." _

_This time he was the one avoiding looking at her. He took it and gently placed it in his lap slowly. "Thanks. I guess it's my turn?"_

_She nodded. "You guessed right." _

_"Your hatchet..." He stopped and gave her his best "really?" look, tilting his head._

_But come on, it came in handy on multiple occasions. _

_"The stuffed pig you got from the Pork of the Month club," he pressed on smiling._

_"Aw, Hammy," she mused, reaching for it. "Anything else?"_

_"Uh, yeah, your big spoon that your brought over the day we made sugar cookies."_

_Sam let out a laugh. "I remember that. Now that was a fun day."_

_"Yeah," he agreed, his lips curving, "even though we got...distracted and let them burn." _

_She smirked. "Totally worth it." _

_A silence fell of them and they just looked at each other until she just couldn't take it anymore and cleared her throat picking up the stuff he'd given back to her. "Thanks."_

_"Oh," he stopped and dug into the box again, "and your home lock picking kit." _

_"Right." She bit her lip and motioned to the stairs. "Well...if that's it, we should probably start rehearsal. Carls is waiting." _

_"Yeah." _

_Neither of them moved._

_"The show must go on, right?" she finally spoke, with a strained laugh that kind of made her chest hurt._

_She blinked up at him as he stood up off the couch. He extended a hand out to pull her up. "The show must go on," he agreed._

_"Hate you," she offered, lamely, nudging him as she got to her feet. What she really hated was that her voice cracked._

_"You too, " he whispered. He leaned down towards her. "Always."_

_She smiled; the most reassuring words she'd heard in awhile. _

_And then they walked up the stairs together. _

_...  
><em>

_"Rehearsing in five, four, three, two..."_

...

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><p><em><strong>No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone.<strong>_

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><p><strong>So, we'll pick up their senior year after this flash back chapter. :) My first multi-chap. So I do hope you enjoy the ride...<strong>_**  
><strong>_


	2. Good To You

**Setting up the unique and oh-so-Seddie dynamic these two have now (and back then) with these next chapters. **

**"The more things change, the more they stay the same."  
><strong>

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><p><em><strong>You're everything I think I need here on the ground. <strong>_

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><p>"No."<p>

"Please?"

"Nope."

"_Pretty _please?"

He sighed. "Sam, I told you, I can't. I have AV after school and I won't be out 'till after five-"

"Oh, come on, Benson – how often do I ask you for a favor?"

Freddie laughed loudly into the phone over her exasperated huff. Was the girl kidding? "I don't know, how often would you call every other day?"

He knew he'd cave, she knew he'd cave; he always did.

But that didn't mean he couldn't give her a hard time about it.

"That is neither here nor there," she hot back, and he rolled his eyes. "Now are you going to pick me up from rehearsal or not, man?"

"Be there in fifteen."

"And hey, if you'd want to stop at like...Chili My Bowl or something on the way -"

"Not happening, Samantha." And he'd hung up, fighting back a smile.

...

_Sam sat in the back corner of the library with her –– blank –– notebook and Algebra II textbook and groaned. _

_She might as well be reading Russian for all the good that this studying has been doing. _

_If it weren't for her brilliant nerd of an ex-boyfriend, Sam would never have even set foot in the school library. (Actually until he suggested they have a study-date one day she didn't even know where their library was). _

_He bribed her with a sandwich and soft kisses on her earlobe and neck, and needless to say they ended up having that study date. _

_And just like that the library was one of their favorite places to be. Quiet. Cozy. Lots of high shelves to make out behind...Occasionally some studying did in-fact occur._

_Occasionally._

_Sam sighed and ran her hand through her curls. Now, however, without him looming over her shoulder whispering in her ear that she needed to concentrate, focusing seemed like less of a possibility than usual. _

_They had planned to meet here so he could help her get ready for the exam on Monday, but somehow she didn't exactly see that happening now._

...

Exactly eighteen minutes later he was parked outside of her dance studio with the engine running.

And a bowl of Chili waiting for her.

This hold she had on him was kind of ridiculous and more than a little irrational.

Whatever the status was of their relationship (or really, lack there of) saying _no_ to her never really ever seemed to be an option.

He looked up from switching the dial on the radio to see her walking towards the car with her dance bag on her shoulder, and her blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head.

Though he never said it out loud, he always thought she looked amazing after dance practice. Glowing almost.

She smiled and gave a tiny wave approaching his mom's old Acura and sliding in. "Yo, yo."

"How was dance?"

She shrugged. "Eh."

He shook his head, and motioned for her to buckle her seat belt. Though she insisted she only started performing again to get some non illegal extra-curriculars on her applications, he could tell how much she actually loved it.

"Here," he said, handing her the bag of take out, and turning to see her face light up. She grabbed the bag and was finished eating in two minutes flat.

"What? Dancing makes Mama hungry."

He just smiled; as if she ever needed an excuse to chow down food.

They drove in silence the rest of the way, occasional humming (on her part) to the radio, before they finally pulled up to her house. She grabbed the duffle bag from the floor and kissed his cheek.

"You are my favorite ex, you know that?"

"Oh, I bet you say that to all of your exes."

"True. But I only mean it with you."

She got out of the car, a quick look back with a half smile –– leaving him behind with the trash from her food.

It wasn't exactly a thank you...But he'd take it.

...

_"Hey, there you are." _

_She blinked up from the textbook that she was seriously contemplating throwing against the wall behind her. _

_Shaking her head in confusion at the brown eyes starring intently back at her, she put her pen down before raising an eyebrow at him. "Uh, what are you doing here, Freddie?" _

_He shrugged in that lax way he always did and swung the chair next to her around to sit. "Um, as far as I can remember we were supposed to prep you for the exam, no?" He met her stare and smiled, before pulling out his own textbook. _

_"Yeah," she answered slowly. "But that was before-"_

_Freddie smirked at her and handed her back her pen. "So? Just because we're not together anymore is no reason for you to fail math."_

_Instinctively she rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile. "Shut up." _

_Twenty minutes into the study session and her attention span was seriously wavering. _

_"Here."_

_She turned to face him when he pulled out a small zip lock with a ham sandwich inside. Her eyes grew and she whispered a quick thank you before opening her book again. _

_A few moments of silence later and he lightly placed his hand over arm to get her attention again. "Hey, you know I'd never...not be there for you, right?"_

_She took a breath before looking back at him. "Yeah, yeah. I know." She smiled and stopped to elbow him before handing him the other half of her sandwich._

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><p><em><strong>But you're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. <strong>_

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><p><strong>Actual plot coming your way, folks, promise. Stay with me! ;) <strong>_**  
><strong>_


	3. Normal is Overrated

**Quick little update because you guys have been so wonderful. =)  
><strong>

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><p>"Benson," Sam stopped him in the hall, smiling brightly and extending out the extra cup of coffee in her hand. "Peppermint mocha, skim, no whip."<p>

She couldn't help but grin even wider at the confused bug eyed stare he was giving her. It was the least she could do after he saved her butt the other day.

"Well, someone took their happy pill this morning." He took the coffee and she linked her arm with his as they made their way down the hall. "And thanks."

"I happen to be feeling extra generous today, Fredward. Don't get too used to it." She gleamed at him and he raised his eyebrow at her.

"So, am I supposed to guess?"

"Yes."

They kept walking and he took a quick sip of his coffee. "You got lucky?"

She laughed. "I'm not_ that _happy."

"I cave," he sighed. They stood outside his first period and she finally released his arm. "You," she gave her caramel latte a long gulp and poked him on the shoulder, "are absolutely no fun," she finished after swallowing .

She smiled as he mock glared at her. "So I have been told, Sam. By you. Multiple times."

"I happen to have a date this weekend," she divulged.

Okay, so at first talking to each other about this stuff...had been sufficiently awkweird. (And truth be told the first girl he went on a date with after her...Was_ seriously _risking her own life by doing so.)

She was supposed to date other people._ He_ was supposed to wait until she was dead.

Though by some sort of mutual unspoken agreement, they eventually gave each other their blessing. Plus, who better to get a guy's perspective from then her ex/best friend?

"Ah," was his first response. Freddie speak for _I should have figured_. "Quien?"

"Parker." She bit her lip, gauging his reaction. Parker and her had been lab partners for the past few weeks and they'd flirted –– nothing serious –– until he'd randomly asked her to dinner this Saturday. He was cute, tall, a drummer and had the bluest eyes she'd ever seen.

Clearly, she'd said yes.

"From your chem class?" Freddie asked, now leaning against the locker outside the classroom.

"Mhm."

He nodded. "Kudos, Samantha."

They looked up as the bell rang and she backed away towards her own class. "You know, I told you, you really need to stop calling me that," she called over her shoulder.

"Thanks for the caffeine buzz," he answered, ignoring her comment and leaving her rolling her eyes.

_That'll _teach her to do something nice for him.

...

"Okay, so you wanna tell me more about this boy that's got my best friend smiling ear to ear? Are your cheeks not killing you yet?"

Sam laughed and shook her head, stirring the pot of angel hair pasta as Carls got out the taco shells – while simultaneously interrogating her.

No one could ever claim the girl didn't know how to multi task.

It's not like her and Parker we're exactly official or anything. They were...just having fun. He liked paintball and loud concerts and _didn't _hassle her about table manners.

"Nothing to tell, Carlotta. We've been on like three dates. And I'm smiling like this, because I'm about to be fed."

She set the plate of taco shells down next to the tray of meatballs with a giggle. "Yeah, okay, we'll go with that." She looked up in mock thought. "Well, not saying that isn't usually the case."

"Hilarious." She paused. "And also true." She smiled and turned off the stove. "That being said, Carls, can we just eat now?"

Carly sighed. "Fine, I'll let it slide _for now_." She grabbed two plates and the pitcher of her special lemonade (that they still couldn't persuade her to stop making). "Is Freddie around for dinner?"

She scoffed. "What, what am I the boy's keeper?"

Her best friend just tilted her head at her.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. He has a date with Amy tonight."

"See, I knew you'd know." Carly laughed getting out a bowl for the pasta Sam had finished straining.

"Yeah, yeah."

As if on cue they spun to see the door swing open, revealing Benson in his yellow button down shirt with a pair of khakis, his hair flipped. "Ladies." He smiled and walked towards the table.

"And speaking of our favorite tech nerd." She smiled back and waved, leaning against the island.

"Hey, Freddie," Carly chimed in. "Lemonade?"

Sam quickly shook her head no at him.

He coughed. "Uh, no thanks. Just drank." He then motioned down his shirt. "So, how do I look?"

She hummed in thought, giving his outfit a quick once over. "Like a banana with really pointy hair."

Carly laughed before Freddie gave both of them glares. "Sam, be nice."

He shook his head. "Never ask questions you don't want the answers to, Freddie," he chastised himself and Sam laughed. It was always_ way _too easy to mess with a pre-date-nervous Freddie.

"What?" Sam shrugged, innocently. "I've told you, you look good in blue."

Freddie held her gaze for a second before he just nodded.

She cleared her throat and looked back at Carly, suddenly thankful she cut in again. "So, where are you taking her?"

"Museum," he answered.

"Nice."

Museum? Sam tried to contain her eye-roll. Really she did...Kind of. "You must be _really _good in bed."

Carly spit out a sip of her lemonade from her seat at the table and coughed.

"Sam - was that necessary?"

She put her hands up. "Hey, I'm just sayin-"

"Look, can you just-"

"_Hey_," Carly interrupted, looking between them. "Still here. Trying to eat in peace."

Freddie turned back to Sam, and tugged at the bottom of her t-shirt. "Come over and help me pick out something else to wear?"

She blinked. "Your mom home?"

"Nope."

"Well, okay then," she answered back, nodding and moving towards the door. "Back in a sec, Shay."

Her best friend sighed and took a bite of her taco. "I don't get you guys at all."

"Don't worry," she answered.

"We don't either," Freddie finished for her.

Carly looked back down at her food, shaking her head. "_Stiiiill_ finishing each others sentences," Sam heard her call after them. "Totally normal."

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? :)<strong>


	4. Good To You II

**Meant to mirror Ch.2. :)  
><strong>

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><p><strong><em>You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains.<em>  
><strong>

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><p>"Shoes off," he reminded her as they stepped inside his apparent.<p>

"Yeah, yeah," Sam answered following him into his room. "I know the drill."

He laughed. "Knowing it, and following it –– two different things."

"Fair."

He sat on his bed and looked up at her as she riffled through his closet looking for something she deemed suitable date attire.

And for whatever reason her opinion mattered.

"No," she said tossing a shirt to the floor. "No again." He shook his head in amusment, not even bothering to tell her that she was making a mess. "Ah," she smiled in satisfaction taking off his navy blue polo off the hanger and turning around to him. "Think fast."

He caught it right before it hit his face and smiled. "Thanks."

"Oh," she stopped and attempted to grab a pair of jeans off the shelf, stepping onto her tip toes.

Smirking, he tilted his head at her. "Need a little help there, Sam?"

She got it just as he stepped up behind her and she shoved it to his chest. "Shut up and change, dude."

He laughed and started walking backwards towards his bathroom. "Yes 'mam."

...

_Freddie looked over at the night stand next to him to read the clock. _

_1:32_

_He looked up in exasperation and pulled his sheet over him. Nights like this when he couldn't sleep or honestly, just didn't want to (after years of a nine-o'clock bedtime he tended to over comensate just a bit) Sam would be the first person he'd think to talk to. _

_Whether it was a video chat or a text conversation, after she sufficiently berated him for waking her up, they'd spend a couple of hours talking about everything and nothing until he finally drifted off. _

_This particular night it had been a nightmare that'd woken him up. Sam would tease him mercilessly about having them and joke that he should break out his night light. Though it calmed him somehow...seeing her face on the computer. Hearing her voice (even when she was mocking him). _

_As merciless and irrational as she was, she was always there when you needed her. _

_(Though sometimes, unfortunately, that came in the form of bees in a teacher's car...)_

_Still feeling restless, Freddie sighed and stood up off the bed towards his PearBook. Taking a chance he opened up a video call request, hoping she still kept the sound on like she used to._

...

"So, how is Sir Parker?" he called back at her through the bathroom door.

"He's...fine," was her muffled response. He nodded (kind of pointless because she couldn't actually see him at the moment) and didn't push any further. Knowing when to ask questions and when to shut up was a skill best acquired around Sam.

When he finished changing, he found her sitting on his bed staring up at his glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. The ones she of course had mocked him for, though he knew she didn't want taken down.

"What do we think?"

She bit her lip in thought, and stood up to meet him. "I've seen worse."

"Oh, have you," he asked, and poked her stomach starting to tickle her, and he beamed at the sound of her laughing.

"Stop! Stop," she cried, swatting at his hands.

Though she wasn't really putting up too much of a protest until he uttered the words that he knew always set her off.

"Make me."

And just like that, still laughing, she grabbed his arm and swung him around in front of her, locking his wrists."Too easy," she whispered up to his ear.

He turned his neck to look at her with a sly grin. "You know I could take you if really wanted to."

He's come pretty far since their arm wrestling days – okay, maybe not _that_ far – but far enough that he's evenly matched with the tiny but fiercly strong blonde currently squeezing his wrists.

She shrugged and let him go, allowing him to turn around to face her. "That ship has long sailed, Benson."

She was joking and they both know it, but something in the tone of her voice made him stop and take notice. "So...thanks," he announced, finally, motioning to the outfit.

"One more thing." She stopped and mussed with his hair until it was partly over his face. "Go get her, Romeo."

He nodded and smiled as she turned to leave. "I shall do my best." She waved and made her way to the door. "Best ex ever," he called out, looking up from his collar, addressing her again.

Even with her back turned he could tell she was smiling.

"Mhm," she laughed, with a wave of dismissal."I bet you say that to all your exes."

He smiled and grabbed his keys to leave. "Only mean it with you," he said aloud as he heard her close the front door.  
>...<p>

_He held his breath for a second before he saw she'd finally excepted the call. Her face appeared on the screen, full of sleep with her hair in a loose pony-tail and wearing her rose colored night shirt. _

_"What's a girl gotta do to get some sleep around here?" _

_He'd expected way worse. _

_She yawned and settled the computer on her lap, leaning against the head of her bed before adjusting her blanket. _

_"Can't sleep," he answered, simply. _

_"Penguin dream again?" _

_"No..."_

_She tilted her head at him and sighed._

_"Maybe." _

_Aaaaand right about now is where the mocking would usually begin. _

_She rolled her eyes and yawned again. "Dweeb, " she shot back, half smiling. She ran her hands through her bangs. "You know, Benson, this really shouldn't be my problem anymore." _

_He cleared his throat, ready for her to tell him to just 'get a grip' and let her sleep. Honestly, she was right this time and he wouldn't have blamed her if she told him just that._

_She just held his gaze and after a long pause she fluffed the pillow behind her, sinking down further under her polka dot comforter. _

_"Hey, so, did you know the word "nerd" was used first by Dr. Seuss in If I Ran the Zoo?" _

_His eyes widened and she gave him a small grin. He sat back in his chair. " Uh, no. Did not know that."_

_"Yeah," she continued. "Read that somewhere and you know, of course, I thought of you." _

_He laughed tiredly and nodded. "Well, naturally." _

_The next forty minutes or so went on like that; sleepy musings over random facts until his eye-lids started to grow heavy. _

_"...He's still a mermaid," she finished, and he half halfheartedly glared, stifling a yawn. _

_"Yeah, yeah."_

_He closed his eyes for a second, resting his hand to support his neck._

_"Go to sleep, Freddie," she half whispered, half ordered. "If I can't stay awake tomorrow, the penguins will be the least of your worries."_

_Nodding absently, he opened his eyes back up again. "Of course."_

_"Night, Benson." _

_"Thanks," he smiled with a shrug, "you know, for the company." _

_"Yeah, well. You know where I am if you need me," she answered on a loud yawn. "Unless I'm eating. Or watching T.V. Or generally have something better to do." _

_He laughed silently and shook his head. "G'night, Sam."_

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><p><em><strong>I never wanted anything so much, than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.<strong>_

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><p><strong>Thanks so much for the love so far.:) Thrilled you're enjoying. <strong>


	5. The Right Fit

**Oh look, an update! =O**

**"Yin needs another Yang. Yin-Yang is harmony. Yin-Yin, is a name for a panda." -Richard Castle.**

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><p><strong><em>"But maybe, one day – when you get a little more normal-"<em>  
><strong>

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><p>Tying the laces on her skates, she turned to the boy next to her. "Dude, I still can't believe you don't want to try one."<p>

Parker laughed and stood up off the bench. "Sorry – I either want Mexican or Italian. The combination is simply _too_ much for my taste buds to handle."

She smiled. "Oh, I have_ so_ much work to do."

He extended his hand out to pull her up and they made their way onto the ice.

"But dinner was good though?" he asked as she started to skate backwards in front of him.

"Mmhm. 'Till Carls brought out her lemonade."

He nodded in understanding. "Ah."

"Yeah, and I would have been here _sooner_," she continued maneuvering so she was skating next to him now. "But I had to dress Freddie."

"Uh?" He tilted his head in confusion and it dawned on her what that had just sounded like. "Pardon?"

She laughed and rested her hand on his arm. "The kid had a date with the _girlfriend_ and I had to help him pick out something to wear that wasn't completely hideous. Have you _seen_ his wardrobe? Not an easy task."

His expression eased and he smiled. "Well, at least now you can add personal stylist to your resume."

"Indeed."

And it's not like she could help that the boy was _completely_ helpless without her.

...

"So, this is a Degas?" Amy looked at him, generally interested, taking his hand as they stopped in front of the painting.

Freddie nodded in confirmation with a smile. "Yeah. You like?"

"I do. It's gorgeous."

He beamed as they kept walking through the East Wing and for a second it crossed his mind how much _begging_ he'd have to do to get Sam to come to somewhere like this with him.

"What's so funny?" she asked, tugging on his shirt.

He just shook his head gently and put his hand on the small of her back to keep walking. "Nothing. Just thinking."

Amy just nodded and smiled. "Well, okay then." She stopped as they stepped in front of the next painting. "Hey, so did you still want to go to the planetarium next month for that exhibit?"

He paused. The new Pluto exhibit that was opening up was set up as a tribute to the former planet and he'd been really psyched about it. (He still thought it was_ seriously_ messed up that Pluto wasn't considered a planet anymore.)

Until he'd found out the monster truck rally was that same weekend.

"Actually...I was thinking of putting that off."

She blinked. "Oh?"

"Would you maybe wanna check out the Monster Truck Jam?"

She laughed. "Since when are you into monster trucks?"

"Thought it'd be something different, " he reasoned. "So you in? Or..."

"Uh..." she paused and Freddie was_ fairly_ certain he knew what answer he was about to get.

"It's okay," he interrupted her before she could finish. "We don't have to go."

"No, no," she rested her hand on his shoulder. "You should go – take Gibby or someone. Or I'm sure Sam would like to go."

"Um, alright." he cleared his throat and nodded. "If you're sure."

...

"She really locked you guys up? ...With her chicken?"

Sam laughed and swallowed a bite of her hamburger. "Well, the chicken wasn't locked up in the room we were – but yes, Maurice was there."

Parker tilted his head, amused. "Chicken's name was Maurice?"

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously, man?_ That's_ what you take away from the story?" she teased.

He laughed too, setting aside his soda and offering her a bright smile. "Well, I am very glad that Gibby saved the day."

"That's certainly not a sentence you hear everyday," she mused, picking up the ketchup bottle to put some on her fries. She uncapped it and started to pour...quite a large amount down on top of them.

She looked up at him. "You're not going to tell me that's too much ketchup?"

"Um, I hadn't planned on it," he leaned forward and squinted at her, smiling."Why? Should I?"

She shook her head no, not even knowing why she'd thought to ask. "Nevermind." She stopped as he was about to start eating his slice of pizza. "No, wait!"

"What, what?" He asked looking around and dropping the slice back down.

Sam bit her lip and inched forward to slide his plate towards her. "You can't eat it yet," she explained.

"_Okaaaay_," he replied, slowly. "I'll play. Why not?"

She smiled. "Just wait." She reached across the small table for the parmesan, applying a perfectly rationed portion over the entire slice. Satisfied, she picked up the oregano next before finally finishing with some garlic powder.

Perfect.

"There," she beamed, passing him back his plate. "Try that on for size, kid."

"Hey, this is amazing!" He took another bite then looked back at her. "So, who turned you into such a pizza chef?"

She laughed, and brushed her hair behind her ears. "Just...something someone showed me once."

It was all about the prep.

...

It was fifteen minutes before closing when they took a seat on one of the marble benches overlooking another wall of Degas paintings.

"Who knew appreciating art would be this exhausting?" he pondered, lightly, looking over at her.

Amy laughed soundlessly, before resting her head on his shoulder. "Play your cards right and someone may just get a foot rub later," she informed him, raising a seductive eye-brow.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah." She blinked and nodded, seriously. "Me."

"Right," he chuckled and half heatedly rolled his eyes. He looked above her head slightly and his breath hitched when one of the paintings caught his attention.

"Wow."

She lifted her head and leaned her chin on his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"I just, really like this painting."

He stood up slowly, Amy following him. The canvas hung above them in a thick gold frame, the subject of the work a young dancer. With her hair pulled up, she wore an all white costume and small orange flowers intertwined in the front matching the crown she wore.

She grinned."You have a thing for Degas, don't you?"

He smiled, still looking at the dancer in the painting. Her eyes were closed, and she had one hand in front of her – the other out extended above her head – mid dance move. "I guess so." He stopped and fished out his cell from his pocket, taking a picture.

"Ready?"

He nodded and accepted her hand as they turned to leave.

"Hey – I really like your outfit."

"Yeah," he shook his head in amusement, before glancing back down at his shirt. "I do too."

...

Sam threw her purse on her couch and rested her skates against the side of the door. Feeling her phone vibrate, she took it out of her cardigan pocket and checked the screen. She saw an alert for a text she'd received earlier, but missed, and opened it as she made her way to the couch.

_I know art doesn't 'tickle your peach,' but saw this painting at the museum tonight and reminded me of you. Thought you might not completely hate it._

_-Freddie B_

She smiled and shook her head; _such_ a dork. The imaged loaded and she saw the dancer on the screen. She was beautiful and for some reason it made her happy that he'd think to show it to her. Admittedly, most art normally did bore her to tears...but for once, Benson was right.

She kind of didn't _completely_ hate it. At all, really.

Clicking 'call back,' she bent her knees up on the couch.

He picked up on the third ring. "Puckett."

"So," she rested her head against the cushion and placed a pillow on her lap, "maybe_ all_ art doesn't suck."

She heard him laugh and geared up for a full recount of how Romeo's date went.

...

Freddie found Sam by her locker, and leaned up behind her. "Hey you."

She groaned, slamming her locker shut. "Mondays should be banned from life."

He shook his head and scoffed at her. "Well, _good morning_ to you too."

Pointing the pen in her hand in his direction she mock glared at him. "It's too early for you to start with me, Benson."

He held his hand out slowly. "Carmel latte – half and half– extra whip."

She took the cup from him, her demeanor suddenly ten times brighter. "Oh, I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

He smiled as she took a long sip. "Better?"

"Mmm," she nodded before swallowing and starting to walk towards his class. "Much. Thanks."

"Hey – so you never finished telling me about skating on Saturday." He looked over as she kept drinking and waited for her to meet his gaze. She brushed her free hand against the lockers as they kept walking without saying a word. "...Well?"

"It was fun." She shrugged, tracing circles against the coffee cup collar. "I told you. We skated. We ate."

Well,_ that_ wasn't vague at all.

"Fair enough." They stopped outside of his class and put his thumbs in his pockets, taking a breath. "So, the Monster Truck Jam's the weekend after your birthday – do you think that you'd want to-"

"Dude," she cut him off, "do you even have to ask?"

He laughed. "Just checking."

The bell rang and she backed away with a wave towards her class before asking, "dinner at Carly's tonight?"

"You guys mind having spaghetti tacos again?" He paused at the sudden look she gave him that he couldn't quite read. "...I'm just bummed I missed out the other night."

"Yeah," she answered slowly, her lips curving and he nodded. "Spaghetti tacos would be perfect."

He couldn't have agreed more.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"...Or, maybe when you get a little more abnormal."<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Still with me, folks? :) <strong>

**P.S: As for the Degas obsession...I blame White Collar. **

**P.P.S: Any Psych fans catch the reference to the show? ;)  
><strong>


	6. The Lying Game

**Yay – more words! More than a little inspired by a scene from Everwood. (Which I, coincidentally, also do not own.) **

**Enjoy. :]  
><strong>

**"Like, is watered-down love. Like is _mediocre_. Like is the wishy-washy emotion of the content."  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong><em>No, I don't want to say goodnight. <em>  
><strong>

* * *

><p>He wasn't exactly sure how he ended up at her door at nine-o-clock at night, but nonetheless, there he stood, tapping his foot anxiously and running his hands through his hair.<p>

She opened the door, with a blank expression waiting expectantly for him to _actually_ say something – or contemplating whether or not she should slam the door in his face.

"So, I've been thinking about what you said the other day at the Groovie – and it's true, okay? I have dropped the ball on our friendship these past couple weeks. And I'm _really_ sorry I missed your showcase-"

"Freddie-"

"And, I figured hey– why not come over and bring the ball over to you," he pressed on, and she just squinted at him. "...I probably should have brought an _actual_ ball to help with the metaphor."

"You're an idiot," she answered, simply.

"I know."

She sighed, and nodded, answering his unasked question, grabbing her jacket from the coat rack behind her.

He extended his hand out in front of him, motioning for her to pass him after she locked the door.

"I'm still mad at you."

He nodded, with a smile and followed her down the porch steps. "I know that too."

...

"_One more minute?" he whispered._

_Sam took a breath, shifting her weight on the bean bag chair. "It's late," she answered back, their foreheads just barely touching and the warmth from his breath still on her face._

_He rested his hand on her side, as if keeping her in place. "I don't care."_

_"Freddie," she was half pleading now – half trying not to melt into a puddle on the iCarly studio floor. "It's after midnight."_

_No need to make this any harder than it needed to be._

_"I know what time it is, Sam."_

_She looked at him and shook her head out of the ridiculous daze she found herself in. "Yeah, now you know what time it is," she shot back, weakly._

_A hint of a smile played on his lips and without thinking, she rested her head on his shoulder as she laid back._

_"You know Crazy's going to kill you, right?"_

_He bent down, brushing her hair off her shoulders. "I think I'll risk it," was his soft reply._

_Well, okay then._

...

He looked up, absently, as they continued walking, Sam's free arm linked with his (for warmth, of course) the other holding her salted pretzel they'd stopped for.

"Wanna bite?" she asked, naturally_ not_ bothering to swallow before she did.

He laughed and shook his head. "No thanks."

She looked down at the pavement before turning her head to face him. "So, where's the lovely Miss Swan tonight?"

"I think she and Wendy were working on a project," he answered, shrugging, lightly. He met her eyes again. "How come? I mean we don't do _everything_ together."

Just giving him her typical _Sam_ eye roll in response, she took another bite of her pretzel. "Eh, I actually think it's kind of sweet."

He blinked. "You do?"

"Yes," she nodded, pulling him towards the park entrance. "Revoltingly, _sugar coma _inducingly so."

"You know, I don't think that's an actual word."

"Shut up."

...

_"Okay," Sam looked at him seriously, and he nodded, bracing himself for the question._

_"Would you rather eat a handful of hair or lick three public telephones?"_

_He laughed soundlessly, while she moved her thumb over his, counting to five in her head. "Depends. Whose hair?"_

_"Does it matter?" she asked, tilting her head up with a laugh of her own._

_"Well," he pressed on, "if it was my own, I guess I'd have to say that one."_

_"Alrighty then." She fought back a smile; of course Freddie would try to impose logic onto the game. "Your go."_

_She watched him hum in thought and found herself stifling a yawn. "Would you rather have three eyes or webbed feet?"_

_"Webbed feet. Easy," she whispered, turning her body to lean on her side. "I'd just wear rain boots all the time."_

_He smiled. "What about during the Summer?"_

_"What? It rains in the Summer..."_

_"Yeah, but if it was really hot and–"_

_"Dude – don't." She shook her head. "Just don't."_

_He angled himself as well, now facing her––their legs almost locked in some awkward position that should have been uncomfortable but wasn't. "Tired?"_

_"Yes," she answered, truthfully._

_He tugged at the hem of her shirt. "One more game?"_

_She took a long breath._

_"Sure."_

...

He brushed his feet against the dirt lightly to stop moving, holding onto he metal chains of the swing and turning to her. "Don't kill me for saying this – but it doesn't really seem like you're too into the guy."

When she didn't say anything – or even resort to a glare – he figured it was safe to go on. "Which kind of makes me wonder–"

She sighed and finally made eye contact with him. "_Why_ I'm seeing him?"

He nodded.

"We have fun, I guess," she mused. "And it's...uncomplicated. I mean, I don't see myself _marrying_ the kid..."

"So, he's not _The One_?"

"Uh, yeah," she laughed dryly, and buttoned the top button of her denim jacket, "no such thing."

"I don't believe that, Sam," not even exactly sure himself where his certainty was coming from.

"Why, Benson?" She smiled and nudged him, gently. "Is Amy yours?"

"I..." He stopped, considering the question. He liked her; he knew that much. They had things in common, rarely fought...being with her was _easy_. "I'm not sure."

Moving her bangs out of her face, as the breeze passed over them, she clicked her tongue and took a breath.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend, last night. Like, officially."

His eyes widened at her and she just shrugged, looking straight ahead again, dangling her feet.

...

_"Lie to me."_

_He smiled and looked up, thinking. "I've won the Noble Peace Prize in both literature and science. Three times."_

_"I'm the President of the American Wicker Council," she informed him, beaming._

_"I once had two pet llamas." He leaned towards her with a grin. "I named one Al."_

_She smiled. "I think Gibby is a completely normal human being."_

_"Sam," he mock chastised, and she caught the quick glance he took towards the clock over their prop car._

_"I," he stopped and locked his brown eyes with her hers, "had a horrible time these past few weeks."_

_She licked her lips, his eyes still daring her to look away. "You, were the most inconsiderate boyfriend."_

_"And you," he smiled softly at her, "were the worst girlfriend ever."_

_She cleared her throat, needing to look away, and sat up straight. "You, uh, you really should get home."_

_He mirrored her movements and got up as well, as she placed her leather jacket on her lap._

_They finally stood up and he shoved his hands in his pockets. "What about you though? It's late and-"_

_She smiled and extended a hand out to interrupt him. "I'll just crash on the couch."_

_"Okay."_

_He looked down for a second, before he leaned in towards her, speeding up her heart rate to an impossibly fast rate. For a second, she thought he was going to kiss her and she closed her eyes, pretty sure she let out an uncharacteristically girly whine._

_His lips hovered over hers for what she deemed way too long (and not long enough) before they brushed past the corner of her mouth, and kissed her cheek._

_"Good night."_

_She opened her eyes, paralyzed to move. "'Night, Benson."_

_He nodded and slowly backed away towards the elevator. "One more lie?" he asked as it opened._

_"Lay it on me."_

_"Hate you."_

_She blinked and looked down as he stepped inside. "Yeah, me too."_

...

"I think you're wrong," he told her matter-of-factly.

She rolled her eyes at him, as he expected. "Yeah, _that's_ new." She faced him and sighed with a tired smile. "About what this time?"

"About 'The One' – having a soul-mate. Knowing when something's right." Her eyes narrowed at him and she opened her mouth to speak, but he kept going.

"Look, I don't know if it's Parker or whoever, but I _promise_ you, Sam? There is someone out there who's going to be perfect for you."

She scoffed. "I don't know about that."

"Well, I do."

"Yeah?" She looked down at her feet and then back up at him with a half smile. "And what makes you so sure?"

He answered with the first thing that came to mind. "Because it's you."

She held his gaze for a beat before clasping her jacket tighter around her.

"Do you want to head back?"

She ran her hand through a loose curl, eyes focused up at the sky before she turned her head to him. "Just a little while longer."

Smiling, he zippered his own jacket and then looked back at her. "Lie to me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams, tonight.<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks <em>so much<em> again for the kind words, guys. Seriously. Hopefully this chapter didn't fall short. More sugar-coma induc_ing _sweetness to come. **

**Stay tuned. :)  
><strong>


	7. Little Black Dress

**Hey, strangers! Remember me? :) A bit of a filler/set-up chapter. But needed to be done. Enjoy! **

* * *

><p>Sam closed her eyes while her best friend started to apply the light coral eye make up over her eye-lids, trying her hardest not to fidget.<p>

Really, did she need all this gook on her face?

"_Sam_," Carly warned, half smiling, turning the swivel chair towards her more, "stop moving!"

She groaned back in response...kind of hard to roll her eyes with them closed.

"Are we done making me look pretty yet?"

Carly laughed, putting down the eye-shadaw (finally allowing Sam to open her eyes) and grabbed the blush next.

"You're already pretty, Sam," she paused appling the make up brush_ just so_, "we're just enhancing it a bit. Come on – it's your birthday. It's okay to get all dressed up."

She smiled. "So, does that mean you won't make me do this again until next year?"

"Well, there _is _prom..." Carly stopped and trailed off, giving her an apologetic look right after she'd said it. "Sorry, I mean I know that-"

"Carls," she cut her off, with a shake of her head. "It's chill. Okay? I'm fine."

"Sam-"

"Carly Shay," she faux glared at her best friend, "it is my birthday and_ as_ the birthday girl – I hereby order we_ drop_ _this_ and celebrate."

She put her hands up in surrender, resting the blush on the desk and turning back to her. "Fine. But you know I just-"

"Want me to happy?" Sam stopped and looked back up at her with smile. "I know, Kid – I've heard the spiel."

Carly rolled her eyes and turned on the lights on the mirror. "And you're going to _keep _hearing it."

She sighed over-dramatically before her smiled widened. "I guess I'm okay with that."

Taking a breath, she then finally looked into the mirror – Carly behind her with a satisfied grin on her face in the corner of the reflection.

So, _this_ is what eighteen looked like.

She just hoped the year wouldn't completely suck.

...

"God _dammit_! "

Freddie smirked as he entered Carly's room. Sam stood over the love seat struggling with her outfit, a stream of aggravated curses escaping her mouth. _Of course_.

"Attack of the killer little black dress?"

He laughed as she jumped and turned her head around.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Benson?" She sighed as she caught her breath and issued a glare, pointing at him. "That is a very good way to an arm."

"Oh, _believe me_, I know." He continued closer as she kept fumbling with the strings behind her.

"Yeah, well, as long as you're here," she stopped to turn her head around to look at him,"you can at least, you know, make yourself useful."

He laughed silently and nodded, motioning for her to move back towards him.

"Carly _abandoned_," she yelled out the last word towards the door, as if somehow that meant Carly would be able to hear her, "me and left me to get into this lace..._thing_, by myself."

"I, uh," he cleared his throat has he started with the first string, crisscrossing it, his hand grazing against the somewhat bare skin of her lower back as he did. "I think she's on the phone with Socko's cousin who's doing the music for tonight. Darren Jacobs?"

"Ah," she nodded. "D.J."

"Yeah." He started moving his way up, continuing to maneuver the strings of the dress and as he bit his lip, his hands meeting her waist.

He felt her flinch, slightly, and it actually kind of calmed him that she was suddenly nervous at their close proximity as well.

"Stay still," he whispered over her neck.

She let out a strangled laugh. "You people really need to stop telling me that."

"Hmm?" he hummed.

She turned around meeting his eyes for a brief second. "You and Carls."

"Right." He finished lacing the lower part of the material and let his thumbs trail up her back for a second before he cleared his throat again. "Move your hair," he prodded, gently.

And without his permission, his hands started to move to just under her neck.

She let out a sharp breath and a shiver that he felt beneath his fingertips before she finally brushed her hair aside.

He shook his head clear of his thoughts ––thoughts that he most definitely should_ not _be having–– and tied the final strings together into a loose bow.

Sam turned around slowly, facing him with those bright blue eyes of hers and he licked his lips and took in the sight of the outfit.

"...So?"

"I've seen worse." What he _didn't_ mention, was that he hadn't seen much better. He grinned at her eye roll and she hit his arm lightly.

"You look beautiful, Sam."

A quick blush past over her face, which made him smirk slightly before she stepped towards him.

"Well, thank you. Hey-" She stopped and her eyes lit up and before she even opened her mouth he cut her off.

"_No_, Sammy." He shook his head, with a small laugh. "You're not getting your present 'till tonight."

"Ugh," she pouted and brushed her hair behind her ears, adjusting her stance in the high heels that Carly had no doubt made her wear. "What good are you?"

He smiled and pulled her into quick hug over her annoyed grumble. "Good things come to those who wait."

"Whatever, Benson," she mumbled into his shirt, but when she pulled back he saw that she was holding back a smile.

He brushed her bangs out of her face. "Happy birthday, Samantha."

"Yeah, yeah," she shot back, her cheeks turned pink again."Thank you."

And it made him smile that she let him get away with using her full name.

* * *

><p><strong>Heavy on the Sam point of few in the next few chapters, so wanted some Freddie POV here before the party. <strong>

**Stay tuned, mi amors.:)**


	8. Pieces of Me

**A little late, I apologize. Splitting the birthday into two chapters. Good things come to those who wait. ;]  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be...<strong>_

* * *

><p>Being the center of attention was never really her thing. Anyone making a fuss over her made her all...itchy.<p>

Though trying to convince Carls that she didn't need (or want) some big shindig was a lost a cause.

Sam would have been very happy to have it just be her, Carly, and Freddie (and maybe Gib, if he behaved) watching movies all night and sharing a cake...or two.

She smiled, looking around the room, about to pour herself some Wahoo punch. Obviously, her best friend had another idea in mind.

There were dozens of balloons and decorations all over, an obscene amount of food (not that she was complaining) – including cupcakes on a stick, thanks to T-bo – _and_ about half of their senior class.

Go big or go home, right?

...

She always had a way of captivating a room without even trying.

Freddie shook his head, an amused smile growing as he looked towards the birthday girl across the studio accepting 'happy birthdays' with an almost shy smile and adjusting the silver tiara on her head.

D.J switched up the music as people continued pouring in, including Amy who approached him with a hug and a quick kiss.

"Hey you." She smiled, lacing an arm around him. "Sam looks like she's enjoying herself."

He nodded, returning her smile, looking back over at Sam again. "She does. Though I think she'd be enjoying herself _more _if she were out of dress and crown."

Amy turned her head to him squinting in thought. "Yeah, not a huge fan of dressing up, is she?"

"Uh, bit of understatement." He laughed and shook his head. "Definitely something that hasn't changed much in her eighteen years."

"You guys have known each other a really long time." It was more of a statement than a question, and although she was never the insecure type, he knew that at times his relationship with the girls (of course Sam in particular) was a little unsettling for her.

Tightening his grip ever-so-slightly around her, he met her eyes with a half smile. "Pretty much forever, really."

She blinked up at him before leaning into chest. "It's sweet, I think, that you guys are still so close."

"Sugar coma inducingly so?"

He laughed slightly at the confused stare she gave him, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you had to be there."

...

The music slowed, and Sam stood fidgeting with her dress, her head turned away from the couples making their way to the middle of the room to dance.

She smiled suddenly at the presence behind her. "_One_ word about the tiara and I swear you'll regret it."

Freddie leaned against the snack table, arms crossed, as she took another sip of her drink. "How'd you know it was me?"

She smirked. "Your aftershave. The one you use for 'special occasions,'" she answered, rolling her eyes, though not able to hide her smile.

"Right." He nodded, laughing silently, and then looked towards the dance floor. "So, do I get a dance?"

She laughed. "Yeah, uh, don't you have an Amy you should be dancing with?"

"I do," he conceded. "But," he paused, lightly taking her drink from her hand and setting it down, "right now I'd rather dance with the birthday girl."

"Freddie, I really-"

And before she could protest any further, he'd taken her hand, leading to the center of the room.

...

"So, how are you?"

Sam, took a breath, looking up at him. "I told you, I'm fine."

He half smiled before pulling her closer, his fingers intertwined in the fabric of the dress. "Liar," he whispered.

She hated when he did that.

She glared, though it really didn't do any good because now they were basically cheek to cheek as the music kept on playing, and he couldn't exactly see her face.

"Don't give me that look," he chastised, jokingly and her eyes widened.

"How did you-"

"I know you, Sam." He leaned his head back to look at her, and it was a little unnerving how transparent he managed to make her feel. "So, out with it, Puckett."

It was beyond weird how after all this time, he could _still_ get in her head better than anyone else.

She looked down and bit her lip. "It wasn't enough," she voiced, softly. Taking another breath she finally met his eyes again. "I liked him, but it wasn't enough. Alright?"

He nodded, and she prayed he'd leave it at that. The whole thing with Parker had just left her head a mess, and honestly, she couldn't even explain _herself_ why they didn't fit.

He brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "Alright."

She managed a smile and his hands moved to her lower back, though unlike earlier it wasn't just to tie the dress, and without warning her breath hitched at the contact.

"I actually like the aftershave," she coughed out, quietly, feeling her cheeks flush before the words even left her mouth.

He smirked, naturally, and leaned in towards her. "And the tiara suits you."

Sam smiled, with a roll of her eyes as they continued dancing, it dawning on her how long it'd been since they'd been this close, _physically close._

"Hey," he whispered at her, moving his right hand to take hers.

"Hmm?"

The way he was looking at her, completely focused on her and _only her_ at the moment, should have been making her itchy to the point of hives.

Instead it kind of just made her smile.

"Come with me for a minute?"

"Are we running away to Mexico?" She tucked a curl behind her ear, looking right to left, as if making sure no one could hear them. "'Cause I'd be okay with that."

He laughed and turned her around gently, towards the studio door.

"Maybe later if there's time."

She sighed, resigned, finding herself leaning in slightly to his touch as he guided her towards the stairs.

* * *

><p><em><strong>But you're on to me, and all over me.<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Birthday surprise for Sam? :) The night may have more than one surprise in store for her...<br>**

**-Insert evil laugh here.-**

**Feedback would be oh-so-lovely. Get at me, kids.  
><strong>


	9. The Pursuit of Happiness

**So, we're heading towards the home stretch, folks. Sad. I'd have this go on forever if I could! This chapter is pretty long, however, so I hope that's some consolation. And that you enjoy it. **

**The reviews so far have been uh-mazing, truly. You guys are wonderful. :]  
><strong>

**"Love, isn't a choice. It's a reaction. A magical connection beyond our feeble ability to explain or understand."- Jason Reeves ❤**

* * *

><p><em><strong>You loved me 'cause I'm fragile, when I thought that I was strong.<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Close your eyes," he ordered her gently, and she crossed her arms pretending to be defiant, shaking her head.<p>

"Not gonna."

He smiled and took a breath, leaning forward –– effectively trapping her between the edge of the table and himself. "Close. Your. Eyes."

Sam cleared her throat, trying to ignore how close he was. How she could suddenly feel his breath.

And _God_, that damn aftershave...

She finally obliged, though adding an unspoken _doof_ with a look. (Simply because she could.)

"For you."

She squinted one eye open as he slowly placed the small object inside of her upturned palm. "Necklace?"

Beaming, he nodded, pulling apart the bottom half of the multicolored lock pendant. "A USB necklace."

Of course. She laughed as he placed its small cover beside her on the ledge. "Really, Benson?" She actually would have been happy with just the necklace, but the fact that he'd think to get her this was just...so very_ him_.

He feigned hurt, a hand to his chest. "Hey, this thing has 34 gigabytes of memory, Sam."

She raised an eyebrow. "You know, a gift certificate would have worked...Fat cakes. A new hatchet-"

He cut her off with a laugh of his own, reaching over her to turn the monitor of Carly's computer on. "Why don't you just put it in?"

Sam shrugged and nodded, swerving around in the chair to face the screen. "Whatever you say, man."

She tapped her fingers absently before the device loaded, the screen popping up displaying a catalog of videos and pictures.

Turning around she tilted her head at him, not exactly sure what she was looking at. He smiled and leaned forwards, taking the mouse. "It's kind of like a scrapbook, I guess," he answered, reading her mind before she could ask.

Always reading her mind.

"They're all of the pictures I've taken of all of us and some of my favorite clips from the web show."

He gave her a sheepish smile before clicking through some more of the photos. "I just thought it might be something you'd like to keep." Sam's face warmed and she smiled; her eyes fixed on him rather than the screen. "You know, memories."

Freddie finally turned his head to her, catching her stare. He smiled. "What?"

"Hmm?" She shook her head and cleared her throat to speak. "Nothing."

"God," she laughed, after taking the mouse herself, looking up in disbelief. "Some of these are from seventh grade." She nodded with an air of finality, turning in the chair and looking up at him. "It's official; I have known you _way_ too long."

"Well, you can't get rid of me now, Puckett." He gave her a grin and brushed her hair off her shoulders. "Safe to say, you're stuck with me."

She blinked. "Stuck," she parroted, on a breath, suddenly very aware of how close he was once again.

"I, uh," she paused, straightening her stupid tiara, "thanks," she finally settled on. "It's great...Extremely cheesy," she added, teasing and he rolled his eyes. "But great."

He grinned. "Oh, it gets cheesier."

"There's more?"

"Click the first video," he told her, spinning the chair around for her. He bent down gently and her eyes widened at him as he placed a quick kiss on the crown of her head. "Come back up when you're done. We'll cut the cake."

He stepped back, leaving her to do nothing but nod as he started walking towards the stairs.

She finally let out the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding and moved the cursor to click play.

It opened to a shot of him at his desk, wearing one of his many plaid shirts along with a ridiculously bright crooked smile, and his hair side swept over his face.

She immediately smiled, brushing her bangs aside, her stomach suddenly nervous at whatever he was going to say.

_"Hey, there, Sam. So, oddly enough? There are no cards for a childhood adversary, turned web show co-worker, turned friend, turned girlfriend, turned ex slash friend again. Best friend," _he amended and she placed her hand under her chin with a shake of her head.

_"Believe me. I checked."_

She laughed out loud this time, and sat back in the chair, tilting her head fondly at the screen.

_"I have a little story for you. It's a pretty good one, if I do say so myself. See, there was this kid, just starting the sixth grade – and this particular day was picture day. Now his, uh, overly...zealous mother had bought him a brand new outfit to wear."_

Her eyes lit up, she definitely remembered this day.

_"So, there a was a girl in his art period. Loud, stubborn... an aversion to doing anything she was asked. Had a mess of the curliest longest blond hair he'd ever seen. Well, this kid, he made the mistake of sitting next to her that day. Now without boring you with the details –– I'll just say that the day ended with a sweater vest covered in non-washable red and blue paint, and a very, very pissed off mother."_

Sam just grinned; the look on his face had been absolutely priceless.

_"Of course, he decided right then that he never wanted anything to do with this crazy chick," he looked up in thought and bit his lip. "Yeah...worked out well." _He flashed the camera a coy smile and she took a deep breath, rolling her eyes half halfheartedly.

"Hey," Sam turned around to see Carly on the steps. "Birthday girl – ready to hear all of your friends sing to you? Loudly and extremely off key?"

She smiled at her best friend, slowly getting off the seat and adjusting her dress. "Really?" she teased. "Come on, Gib has perfect pitch."

...

"Freddie, I'm going to grab another cupcake," Amy informed him and he laughed.

"Ams, we're gonna cut the cake soon."

She shrugged innocently and smiled. "They're really good cupcakes."

He nodded with a teasing smile as she let go of his hand towards the snack table.

Gibby arrived next to him, with a curious look. "Hey, Fred."

"What's up?"

"Who's that," he stopped and pointed towards Amy, currently unwrapping her red velvet cupcake on a stick.

"Dude," he tilted his head at him. "That would be Amy. My girlfriend. For the past four months."

"Ah," Gibby nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "Right."

Freddie extended his hands out. Was he missing something here?

"I guess, I'm just a little confused then."

He sighed. "Why's that, Gib?"

The room quieted down as Carly pulled Sam along to the front of the room, and he stopped to look up as she stood in front of her cake, looking down and absently fidgeting with her dress.

"Because you've been staring at Sam all night."

"Man, come on." He shook his head, running his hand behind his neck. "I-"

"Yeah." Gibby nodded and cut him off, giving him a look. Before Freddie could say anything else, he fist pumped the air and turned towards the front of the room. "Time for cake!"

Amy walked back towards him as the crowd started singing, and she leaned towards him holding out her hand. "Grabbed you one too."

He cleared his throat. "Thanks."

"Hey," she squinted and tugged on his shirt. "You okay?"

He nodded as they faced Sam, joining the others as she held her hair back, leaning in to blow out her candles.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

...

_"Seven years later and uh, here we are. And you know, thinking about it...Not too much has changed. You're still just as loud...stubborn. And crazy. The hair's a little bit shorter though," he half laughed and looked down before facing up at the camera again. _

_"You're still the amazingly strong – in every sense of the word – creative, funny, overly sarcastic and energetic girl who somehow against all odds became one of the most important people in my life."_

...

Sam smiled, taking a breath, looking around the room – everyone's eyes on her as they sang.

There was that itchy feeling again.

She blinked up and turned her head, scanning faces until her eyes stopped on Freddie. She leaned her head to the side, her lips curving. She mouthed a silent 'thank you' and he nodded, smiling, a slight shrug of the shoulders as he whispered back, "you're welcome."

Carly nudged her and wrapped an arm around her after the singing was done and stepped back ordering her to make a wish.

Right. A wish.

Her mom had once told her that getting what you want is easy –_ knowing_ what you want is always the hard part.

She exhaled, and looked up in thought.

What _did_ she want?

...

Sam sat at the ledge again, running her hands through her now free hair. The tiara now on top of its rightful owner's head. "For being the best, best friend," she'd told her with a wiggle of her eyebrow. "You throw a kick ass party."

Carly was now behind her with a garbage bag, picking up stray red cups and plates that had somehow ended up downstairs.

"So, you sure you had fun?" she asked, suddenly, making Sam swivel her head around.

"I did," she answered over her shoulder. "Really. It was great."

...

_"And, okay, so a few things have changed. Us, for example. As I pointed out in my difficulty in trying to find the right card." He laughed softly, tapping his fingers on his desk. _

_"But, I, uh. I think this works out a lot better. Because I think we sort of...defy any particular label. And, well, no matter what's happened with us, I hope you know by now I'm always going to be around."_

...

She stared at the monitor, his video for her still on the screen, her chest suddenly feeling constricted, making it hard to breathe.

"Sam..." Carly placed the full garbage bag down, the concern radiating off her as she stepped forward and Sam could_ feel_ her eyes on her back.

"So..." She folded her hands resting them on the table before looking up. "Remember when were talking about you wanting me to be happy?"

"Mmm," Carly paused, joining her by the computer. "Which time?" she joked, softly, trying to give her a reassuring smile.

Sam scoffed, and attempted a laugh."Yeah, well." She looked down as Carly rested her hand on her shoulder, gently prodding her to press on.

"Well, what if..." She trailed off and shook her head, disbelieving. "What if, he's what makes me happy?"

She let out a breath, looking back at the paused video, tugging at the other half of the USB chain around her neck.

No one had ever spoken to her the way that he did. Made her feel as cared about. And when she'd looked across the room again before blowing out those candles, seeing his girlfriend holding his hand...

The only thing that came to her mind to wish for – was that it was her.

She faced Carly with a hopeless shrug, and a sharp sigh, fairly certain her eyes were almost welling up.

"Aw, Sam..."

The look on Carly's face summed up exactly what she already knew.

"I think I'm still in love with him."

She brushed her hair behind her ear with a slow nod. "Yeah..."

That she was completely and utterly screwed.  
>...<p>

_"So, I'm sure you're probably getting sick of listening to my voice by this point, but um, I just wanted to say that...I hope you never forget how extraordinary you are. And also that I am extremely glad you poured paint all over me that day." _He paused and leaned towards the camera, with a sly grin. "_I hated that sweater, anyway." _

_"Have the most amazing eighteenth birthday, Sam –– Hate you."_

...

* * *

><p><em><strong>But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone. <strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>This, my darlings, is what those in the biz would call a "plot beat." I mean, I assume so, me not <em>actually<em> being in the biz...I have no idea. ;] **


	10. There's Beauty in the Breakdown

**The reaction to the last chapter was beyond amazing. ❤ I appreciate each and every review; thanks so much, guys. :)**

**"They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back it's yours; that's how you know."  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em><strong><em><strong>Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity...<strong>_**_

* * *

><p>Sam tugged on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, blinking up from looking down at her smoothie. She turned her head against the concerned stare he was giving her, before picking up her Strawberry Splat and finally taking a sip.<p>

Clearly, this hadn't been one of her better ideas.

"Good smoothie?"

She slurped through the straw loudly before setting it down. "Lovely."

Freddie let a moment pass before tilting his head at her and setting his own drink aside. "So, are you planning on telling me what's wrong, Sam?"

She put on a smile and shook her head. "Nothing. You've just been talking my ear off the whole day, alright? So, I have a little bit of a headache."

"A headache?" He nodded on a sigh. "That's what you're going with?"

"Yes," she answered, not bothering to glance up to see his disbelieving look. She grabbed her smoothie and took another swallow. "Yes it is."

He broke of a piece of his churro and took a bite. "Right."

She might have been perfectly capable of acting okay if the kid would just _stop talking_.

But with him right there across from her, smiling, laughing– rolling his eyes – looking through her like glass every time she uttered a word – she felt herself sinking further into everything she felt. Into_ him_.

And it _really_ needed to stop.

"Uh, I was thinking about Saturday," he started between chews, and she lifted her head to look at him. "If we leave early enough we could grab breakfast before."

"Yeah..." She trailed off, biting her lip and running a hand through her hair. "I, uh, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make it after all."

His face fell immediately.

"Something...came up," she finished, clearing her throat.

"Sam, I got these tickets a month ago."

She shrugged. "I'll give you back the money, alright? Don't sweat it."

"Wow." He shook his head. "Really?" He put his drink down, clearly growing frustrated."It's not about the money, Sam. I thought you really wanted to go."

"I did - I do - I just..." She exhaled and looked down avoiding his eyes." I told you, I just can't."

"Whatever; it's fine." He sighed with a bitter laugh that made her chest hurt just hearing.

"You know when Amy said no, and suggested I asked you-"

She blinked. "What?"

He gave a curious look and bent his head. "_Well_...I had asked Amy about it first," he explained, as if she clearly should have known.

"_Of course_ you did," she muttered up to the ceiling.

"Oh-_kay_," he answered back, still peering into her. "Are you mad or something that I didn't ask you before I asked her?"

"I should get going, Benson. It's getting late."

"Sam, it's four-thirty."

She groaned. "Well, it's late somewhere!"

He laughed in that half amused, half frustrated way he always did with her that would usually make her smile. "Seriously, why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry."

He hummed and pursued his lips. "You seem pretty angry."

"I said I'm not angry!"

"Okay then." He put his hand up in defeat and shook his head. "You're not angry."

They sat in a painfully thick silence for another minute before she finally spoke. "Freddie," coughed out his name, her voice barely a whisper. "I can't do this anymore."

He fake gasped and leaned forward, his hand to his chest. "Are we breaking up?"

"We already did that," she shot back, and the bite in her tone surprised even her.

"Sam, I was just-"

"I just think we need some space, okay?_ I _need some space."

"From me?"

"From..." She stopped, helpless, and gestured into the space between them. "This."

The hurt look on his face was nearly enough to break her. "You're serious, aren't you?"

She sniffled with a slow nod. "I think it'll be good for us – to spend a little less time together. You have a _girlfriend_ – who is not me – who you _should _be taking on Saturday. And I -"

"Sam-"

"I should be off trying to find some rebound post Parker to hook up with...Or according to Carly drowning myself in ice-cream and bad Taylor Swift songs-"

"_Sam_."

She huffed. "What?"

"You think we see each other too much?" he asked squinting, attempting to follow whatever logic she was spouting.

Hell if she even knew.

"Is that what this is?"

"I think," she brushed her hair out of her face and took a breath, "we've been in some sort of weird _limbo_ since last year. And it's just...It's not working anymore."

He cleared his throat. "And that's how you really feel?"

No.

"Yes."

"So, after everything, Sam - we're just what? Not going to be friends anymore?"

She folded her hands in front of her lips, shutting her eyes for a second and letting out a strangled breath of air. "Give me some time, okay?"

He nodded, meeting her eyes. "If that is what you want," he answered slowly.

"It is."

She grabbed her backpack and her phone the familiar unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach only growing. "And now I _really_ do have to go."

"Sam," he pleaded after her.

Standing up, finding breathing an increasingly impossible feat right now, she placed the money down for her smoothie and started to walk past him.

"Hey-"

She turned around slowly and swallowed. "Yeah?"

"I think you're making a mistake, you know?"

Funny, she'd been wishing he had said that the first time around.

* * *

><p><em><strong>...The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.<br>**_

* * *

><p><strong>Aw. Sam...It'll be okay, don't worry. ;) Reviews are oh-so-lovely, if you're so inclined. ❤<strong><br>**  
><strong>


	11. All At Once

**Once again, thanks for the sweet and encouraging reviews, guys. ❤ As some of you astutely pointed out, Freddie's been more than a little clueless - well, here's a bit of insight to that. :)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I _adore_ the Creddie friendship to pieces - and I think it's actually one of the least developed relationships on the show - minus some of the little exchanges they've had. **

**"Do you have any juice?" **

**"I don't know, but if I did - I would give it to you. Because_ I_ don't keep things from _you!_"**

* * *

><p><strong><em><strong><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em> <em><strong>And all at once, the crowd begins to sing; sometimes the hardest thing &amp; the right thing are the same...<strong>__**_**_****_**

* * *

><p>"You know, she hasn't returned any of my calls," he told Carly, turning his head to face her as she continued with her notes.<p>

She cleared her throat. "So, uh, about the quadratic equation - if I-"

"Not any of my texts either," he added.

She put her book down and looked up at the ceiling, apparently agitated. "Every time I'm out, they try to suck me back in."

Freddie sighed, pushing his own book aside. "Sorry. I just..." He let his words hang in the air for a minute, trying to sort out whatever it was going on inside his head. "I don't know why she's doing this."

"_Well_," Carly started, angling herself towards him, "when a girl asks for_ space_ I think that includes communication of all kinds. Wireless included."

He tilted his head. "Carls. That's not what I meant."

She nodded. "I know what you meant. And you already know why, Freddie."

The sting in her tone was obvious.

"I-"

"_Freddie_."

He ran his ran behind his neck, exhaling deeply. "I can't help how Sam feels, Carly."

She blinked at him disbelieving. "How_ she_ feels? Look, you know I don't like to get in the middle of you two-"

Freddie rose an eyebrow at her.

"So, I'm trying it out," she shrugged.

"Okay, my point is, whatever you decide? That's up to you. But don't," she stopped and pointed her finger in his direction, "don't put this all on her, okay? Don't act like she's alone in this."

The truth was, he realized, she wasn't.

He looked down at his lap on a sigh, before finally meeting her eyes again.

Her expression softened and she nudged him. "I know you better than that."

...

_They'd been sitting on Carly's couch for the last forty minutes, Carly upstairs in her shower for that amount of time. With her chair. (The stress of finals getting to her.) _

_He turned to an unusually quiet Sam, setting his textbook aside and looking at her with a bright smile. _

_"Break time?"_

_She laughed soundlessly and angled herself to face him. "Yeah, I stopped studying like twenty minutes ago, Benson." _

_He blinked. "Then what have you been writing in your notebook all this time?" _

_"Boom!" She faced her loose leaf notebook towards him, revealing her doodle of a cartoon bunny in a top hat. _

_Freddie smiled, not surprised in the slightness at the girl's uncanny ability to waste time. "How productive." _

_She rested her notebook next to her with a small shrug. "Productivity is overrated." _

_"Clearly." _

_He flashed her a teasing grin at his last statement, before turning on the T.V. After a while she shifted in her seat, taking a shallow breath and he turned to her with a raised eyebrow, wondering why she seemed so nervous all of a sudden. (Well, all evening, really.) _

_She bit her lip."Remember when we dated?"_

_Freddie tilted his head. "You mean like, a month ago?" _

_"Yeah, then." _

_He laughed. "Yeah, Sam. I remember. What's going on?" He met her eyes and she blinked up at him, slipping out a printed sheet of paper from her notebook. _

_"Here." _

_"What's this?" He scanned the paper quickly before looking back up at her, his eyes widening. _

_"An acceptance letter to N.E.R.D camp," she verified. She smiled and tugged at his shirt, lightly. "Couldn't take any more of your annoying whining about it." _

_He laughed, glancing down at the letter and then at her. "I can't believe you did this." _

_"Yeah, well, it was kind of my fault that you didn't get in in the first place." _

_"Kind of?"_

_She rolled her eyes halfheartedly and sighed, tilting her head at him."You know I'm sorry about that." _

_He smiled at her. "Water. Bridge." She laughed and he held up the letter. "Really, Sam - this is amazing; thank you." _

_"You deserve to go," she offered simply. "Didn't want to hold you back." _

_Without thinking, he reached out to put his hand over hers. "Hey, you could never hold me back."_

_If anything, she always made him want to push further. Try harder._

_She looked up at him through her lashes, a faint smile tugging on her lips. "Good to know." _

_As if suddenly realizing where his hand was, she swallowed hard before moving her arm and lacing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I - actually have to get going. Tell Carls I said bye?" _

_"Um, yeah," he answered, pulling his hand back as well. "No problem. You sure you have to leave now? We could actually get some studying done..." He tampered off and she offered him an unconvincing smile. _

_He nodded."Okay, then." _

_She stood up, grabbing her notebook and musing with his hair. "What did I say about productivity?" _

_He smiled and his eyes trailed after her as she headed towards the door. "Vastly overrated."_

...

"Carly, you know I'm with Amy. I can't-"

"Yeah. I do," she cut him off, nodding and pulling her feet up onto the couch. "I know that she's the one you _think_ you should be with." She paused leaning over slightly. "Not the one you want."

Freddie opened his mouth to protest –– only to find that he couldn't.

She smiled understandingly, more understanding than he felt he deserved at the moment.

"I know you that you don't want to hurt her."

He didn't; he _couldn't_.

Though, honestly, he was probably doing that already.

He was hurting all of them.

"I'm also betting that you're scared."

He looked down and thought for a moment. "We've just been in a really good place," he finally answered, quietly. "If we tried again and screwed things up –" He stopped, meeting Carly's eyes biting his lip.

"I can't loose her, you know?"

Carly laughed soundlessly and shook her head. "That's not possible."

He sighed, but she pressed forwards.

"I don't even _pretend_, to understand the relationship you two have," she sneered giving him one of her Carly looks,"but you guys always seem to have each other. I don't see that changing."

"Until now."

The chances of her speaking to him again anytime soon weren't looking great.

She elbowed him lightly. "Then fix it."

"I...don't even know where I'd start," he admitted, flatly.

"Just go talk to her, Freddie," she reasoned. "The rest will figure itself out. It'll be okay. Promise."

"When'd you get so smart?" he teased, linking his arm with hers, resting back on the couch.

"I don't know, " she laughed. "I think it was a Tuesday."

He released a breath."Carls?"

Carly sighed tiredly and looked up at him. "Hm?"

"I love her."

She smiled. "I know."

...

_"Hey, where'd Sam go?" _

_He spun his head around from the couch as Carly came up behind him, her hair still soaking wet._

_"Oh, uh, I don't know actually," he answered. "She just said she had to go." He shrugged while she propped herself up on the couch next to him. "Guess she got sick of studying."_

_She laughed. "Right. You guys play nice?"_

_"Yes, Carly," he scoffed. _

_"What's this?" She reached out picking up his acceptance letter._

_"That," he pointed at it in her hand, "is a letter from N.E.R.D camp – Sam, well, she got me in."_

_"Wow." She turned her head to face him. "How'd she manage that?"_

_"You know, I found it safer not to ask." _

_She smirked. "Yeah, that's probably for the best." She bit her lip before poking him. "That was really nice of her." _

_"It was." _

_"When are going to tell her?" She finally blurted out, when he kept staring aimlessly at his open notebook._

_He blinked. "Tell her what?" _

_ "Oh, I don't know," she stopped and poked him again. "Maybe that you still want to be with her." _

_"Okay," he shook his head, "please stop poking me. And – I don't want to have this conversation, Carly." _

_She rolled her eyes. "Color me shocked." _

_When he just tilted his head at her, giving her a look – she thankfully dropped it. _

_For a minute. _

_"I know that I told you this before, but - none of the things I said to Spencer and his girlfriend that day I ever thought applied to you guys." _

_He smiled faintly, taking a breath. "I know. It doesn't matter now though." _

_She met his eyes, quizzically. "You sure about that?" _

_"I think I kinda have to be." _

_"Okay," she answered, seemingly not convinced._

_They started studying again when he angled towards her, clearing his throat. "You want to know a secret?"_

_She fake gasped and sprung her head up. "One you're actually telling without me finding out some other way first?"_

_He pretended to glare._

_"Spill it," she continued, on a half laugh._

_"When she kissed me that night, at first I couldn't imagine how we'd actually manage to __really work-"_

_"And now?"_

_"Now," he paused, looking down at the floor and then down at her. "I'm not really sure I can imagine being with anyone else."_

_"Hey," she smiled and closed her notebook, resting her hand on his shoulder for a second. "It'll be alright," she promised._

_He laughed halfheartedly. "I'm going to hold you to that, Shay."_

* * *

><p><em><strong><strong><em><em><strong>...Maybe you want it, maybe you need it. Maybe it's all you're running from; perfection will not come.<strong>_  
><em>****_

* * *

><p><strong>How am I doing, kids? ❤<strong><br>**  
><strong>


	12. What About Now?

**Ah, finally updating. So sorry for making you guys wait. School, procrastinating...You know how it is. :) **

**"Don't tell me we aren't right for each other - the way I see it, we aren't right for anyone else." - The Cutting Edge.  
><strong>

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><p><strong><em><strong><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em> <em><strong>What if our love never went away? What if it's lost behind, words we could never find? ...<strong>__**_**_****_**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>She was sitting on her desk before the bell rang, aimlessly flipping through her notebook. Not like their were_ actually _a lot of notes written in it. She sighed and looked up at the clock, squinting in vain to somehow speed up the time.

She would have very much appreciated for the day to be over right about now.

Shuffling her feet, she looked back down at her desk before catching a glimpse through her lashes of a familiar pair of shoes and an outstretched hand holding a cup of coffee.

"Here you go." He offered the cup to her, locking his eyes with her as if in some sort of staring contest that she hadn't even realized she'd accepted to play.

She exhaled, and there's a hint of a smile playing at lips – and she caved.

Taking the coffee, she nodded in thanks, without saying anything.

He joined her on top of the desk, and she took a sip before sighing and finally turning her head towards him. "Anyone ever tell you how stubborn you are, Benson?"

6 missed calls, and 13 texts later, and he_ still_ hadn't gotten it.

"It didn't work the first time you tried," he pointed out. "You really think it'd work now?"

She scoffed. "Yeah, well, last time was a little bit different."

"True." He stopped to nudge her shoulder, and she would have scooted away if it didn't mean falling off the desk. "What do you think ever happened to Caleb?" he teased.

She rolled her eyes, frustrated.

Though less at _him_ and more at _herself_, because he's still able to drive her just as crazy as he did back then.

"Freddie, what do you want?"

"Well, for one," he twisted towards her slowly, moving her hair from her shoulders to look at her face, "my best friend back."

"I think Carls is on her way to bio right now, so..." Her voice tapered off and he blinked down at her with those stupid amazing brown eyes of his.

He sighed. "Can we just have a real conversation here, Sam?"

"I'd really rather we didn't."

"And _now_ who's being stubborn?"

She dangled her feet, shooting him a glare. "Will you just _leave_?"

And suddenly it _was_ last year all over again.

He smirked, unfazed. "Or you'll do a double fist face dance on my face?"

"You're not funny."

"Sam..." He ran hands over his face, looking about as frustrated as she felt. "I'm trying my best here."

She laughed, bitterly, shaking her head. "You didn't do anything wrong!" she shot out, before remembering where they were and lowering her voice. "I told you, I just -"

"I know what you said, Sam," he cut her off, softly. "I'm more interested in the _why_."

She exhaled slowly, looking him in the eyes. "I think you know that too."

He didn't blink. "Say it," he whispered.

"It doesn't matter anyway." She turned her head forwards, away from him and kept her gaze trained on the hands of the clock overhead.

"Amy and I aren't together anymore."

Her entire body froze, blood suddenly pounding in her ears.

"What?"

He took a breath, inching towards her with a slight smile. "I broke things off, Sam."

"I-I mean..." She stopped, not remembering the last time she ever had so much trouble formulating a coherent sentence before.

"Why?" was what she ultimately settled on, speaking so quietly it was hard to even hear herself.

He bit his lip in thought before gently taking a hand to turn her face to him. "Because it wasn't enough."

She swallowed loudly before shaking her head at him and scooting back.

"Doesn't change anything."

"Well, I was-"

She huffed, brushing her bangs out of her face. "So what, Benson? You dump your girlfriend and I'm supposed to just old school Hollywood it right into your arms? That how this is supposed to work?"

Dropping his hands to his knees he stared up at the ceiling with a sigh. "Wow."

"You know what, Sam?" He shrugged, hopelessly, facing her again. "I don't know how this is supposed to work. I don't. But I do know that at least I'm _fighting_ for what I want."

She stared at him with a disbelieving nod."And I'm supposed to believe...that's suddenly me again?"

"You do remember that_ you_ broke up with me, right?" he asked, the sourness in his voice taking her aback.

Was he serious?

"Uh, excuse me, Freddie?" She shook her head, shoving his shoulder out of exasperation "What happened to,'but it was mutual, right?'"

"It..It was, I just-" He stopped short, and she narrowed her eyes at him, waiting for him to continue. "If you hadn't said anything in the elevator, I would have been perfectly happy to-"

"To go on like nothing was wrong? Like we actually had a clue what we were doing?-"

"To keep _trying_," he finished.

"We were a train wreck, Freddie," she mumbled. "Literally. I wrecked your train. We pissed off Carly - I nearly_ broke_ Gibby. Your mother almost went into cardiac arrest-"

He smiled. "True, true, true - and most definitely true. Though I'm sure you aren't all too torn up about that one."

She couldn't help it; she laughed. "Shut up."

"Ah," his smile broadened and he gave her a nudge. "There's my best friend."

When she just rolled her eyes lightly without a response he leaned his head towards her slowly, his hand just barely hovering over hers.

"I also remember us being pretty great," he whispered into her ear.

She cleared her throat, trying to focus on breathing. (Which was clearly a lost cause.)

Her face turned towards him and she closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his breath become closer and closer...

She was in _way_ too deep here.

All at once the bell rang above them, causing her to spring her head back. She sighed softly as a few kids started to shuffle into the room.

"...You should go," she murmured.

"Sam-"

"Fitz will kill you if you're late."

He met her eyes for the longest time, before shaking his head and sliding off her desk and grabbing his textbook.

She nodded weakly and held up her coffee cup. "Thanks for the caffeine buzz," she uttered, her voice cracking way more than she was comfortable with.

"Later, Samantha."

Yeah, she _definitely_ wanted today to be over.

* * *

><p><em><strong><strong><em><em><strong>...Baby, before it's too late. What about now?<strong>_  
><em>****_

* * *

><p><strong>You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? ;] <strong>

**Honestly, my intent was not to draw this out, or to torture you guys, I swear. But I wanted to handle them/their coming to terms with everything in the most generic and plausible way possible given the context I've set up. **

**Hope you enjoyed. ❤**  
><strong>  
><strong>


	13. Wouldn't Change A Thing

**Remember me? :)**

**Alternated POVs a bit, hope it worked.  
><strong>

**"What we have, is a great love. It's complicated – intense. All consuming. No matter what we do and how much we fight, it'll always pull us in." - Gossip Girl. **

* * *

><p><strong><em><strong><strong><em><strong><em><strong><em> <em><strong>Something always brings me back to you ...<strong>__**_**_****_**

* * *

><p>"You sure you okay?" Carly asked him, walking over to where he was standing by all of the equipment.<p>

"I'm fine," he answered, not blinking up. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you've been adjusting the lens on that camera so much I think you're gonna give it whip lash."

He just glared.

"Okay then." She nodded slowly, turning away. "Moving on."

She looked to Gibby making sure the spaghetti for the "What am I Sitting On," bit was ready when Sam walked into the room.

"Aloha people."

He looked up at her as she greeted them before lowering his head back down to the camera, adjusting it again.

"Hey, Sam," Carly greeted softly, thankfully not bringing up the palpable thickness in the room.

"Wow." Gibby sighed shaking his head gesturing around them. "You can literally feel the awkward."

And there it was.

"_Gib,_" he warned, sharply which just elicited an innocent shrug in response.

Sam shot Gibby a look of her own, though surprisingly not saying anything. Instead she walked over and stood in front of him where he was at the podium, though he refused to look up at her.

"Can, uh, can we talk about the other day?" she asked, and he met her eyes for a brief second before shaking his head.

"I don't want to talk right now, Sam."

"But-"

"You made it perfectly clear where you stand, okay?" he told her, motioning for Carly and Gibby to get in their places.

She sighed and stepped next to him about to try again.

"We're live in five, four, three, two..." He trailed off and gave her a look signifying she should get into position to start the show.

Sam backed away joining Carly who was issuing her a concerned look, mouthing the word 'sorry' to her.

She had been more than a little shell shocked when he'd told her about him and Amy – more even that it was because of _her _that they ended.

It'd sort of left her head spinning.

She'd spent_ so long_ fighting against these feelings since they broke up and putting all her energy into being 'just friends' again.

And then these last few weeks since her birthday had shattered any hope of letting her ignore what she really wanted.

Him.

Though once you get what you want, you have something to loose.

"They call me Carly..."

"...And I'm Sam," she coughed out, forcing a smile, making her cheek hurt.

"And you're watching iCarly!"

She pressed the cheer button on her remote, Carly starting to spin around announcing they were going to start the first bit with Gib.

"Um, Carls," she stopped and looked over at her. "Before we do that..." She trailed off and bit her lip, and of course Carly immediately caught on.

Her best friend smiled and sighed and shook her head. "Right." She walked over to Freddie and started to try to take the camera away from him.

"Carls- stop. What are you-"

He sighed in defeat and Sam took a breath as Carly nudged him towards the middle of the studio.

But by not doing anything she'd risk losing a lot more...

She stopped to pull his hand to bring him the rest of the way until he was standing next to her.

"Sam-"

"So, as I'm sure you guys probably remember...last year around this time we were broadcasting from Troubled Waters."

"What happened to Caleb anyway?" Gibby mused from behind them.

"Gibby!" Carly yelled from behind the camera, narrowing her eyes at him. "_Hush_."

"I thought I was more than a little crazy for liking this kid," she paused and laughed, lightly, nudging him and he rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing?"

She smirked. "Payback," she whispered.

She faced the camera again. "And well, I was right...We fought twenty four seven – got on each others nerves _constantly_-"

"Which is why we broke up," he interrupted. "Though _I_-"

"Uh uh, Benson," she paused, shaking her head. "My turn."

"You're ridiculous," he muttered under his breath and she smiled as he proved her point.

"See? This is what I mean – it has always been like this. And we tried _easy._..the whole un-complicated thing. But..."

"But what?"

"I miss the crazy," she answered simply. "I miss _you_. Us."

He sighed. "Sam, you know how I feel. You're the one that said-"

"And since when do you listen to anything I say?"

"I-"

Before the next words could leave his mouth she'd pulled his arms towards her and leaned forwards, planting her lips over his.

He gasped in surprise before closing his eyes and kissing her back fully. He could feel her relax and smile against his lips as he did and it felt completely ridiculous to him that they'd taken this long to get back here.

She stepped back, as dazed as he was, releasing a happy sigh and tugging on his shirt. "We're both still certifiable, you know."

"Absolutely out of our minds," he agreed, his voice breathless.

He wrapped an arm around her and her eyes lit up, teasing. "So, what now?" she asked.

Laughing he leaned his forehead against hers, relishing in the feeling of her blouse beneath his fingertips. "Hate you," he told her softly.

She smiled and blinked up at him. "Love you too."

He tilted her chin about to kiss her again, while Carly turned the camera towards herself.

"...And good night."

* * *

><p><em><strong><strong><em><em><strong>...It never takes too long. ❤<strong>_  
><em>****_

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogueone last flash back chapter to come. Sound good?**


	14. The End of the Beginning

**So, so, sorry it took this long. The holidays and everything...Plus getting over a cold. Wanted to say thanks SO much for the overwhelming love on this story. Seriously. Thrilled you guys seemed to enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Seddie, ftw. **

**Also, as you can tell by the last chap. I am a huge fan of things coming full circle - thus the webcast in the last chapter. And this epilogue as well.  
><strong>

_**"You do your thing, I'll do mine. You go your way, I'll go mine. And if we end up together, it's beautiful." - Boy Meets World.**_

* * *

><p>"So, uh, how much do you love me?"<p>

Sam laughed into the phone and shook her head. "Depends. What do you need?"

He sighed. "A ride home – Brad bailed. Had a family thing. Think you could get me after rehearsal lets out?"

She let out a long hum of consideration – letting him sweat it out, of course.

"Really, Sam?" She could literally hear his annoyed frown. "We're debating?"

"You know I'll get you," she answered, fighting back another laugh. "But it'll cost ya."

"Of course it will."

She smiled. "We get Chinese Friday night. I'm sick of Italian this week."

"That's it?" came the confused response.

"Well, it is Carmine's birthday in a couple of weeks, and I was really hoping to go visit-"

"Oh, you are _not _serious, Puckett."

"As a heart attack," she answered on a smirk.

"Fine, but I draw the line at any more meat being placed in my pants."

Sam just burst out laughing over the sound of his irritated groan.

...

_"Good rehearsal, you guys," he told them, placing the camera down and walking towards the middle of the studio. _

_Carly responded with a quick thanks while Sam just nodded, avoiding eye contact. _

_"So..." Gibby hopped out from their prop car looking between the rest of them. "What do you guys say to a movie?"_

_He looked over at Sam who cleared her throat and blinked up at him questionably. _

_"Um, you know, I actually have to go... shopping with my mom," she answered, finally._

_Carly laughed from behind her. "Yeah - shopping." She smirked and put the last word in air quotes and Sam just shrugged._

_Gibby shook his head. "Is this how it's gonna be? We can't even go to the movies all together anymore?"_

_Sam turned around and faced him. "What are you talking about?"_

_"You two," he answered, pointing between Sam and himself. "You're avoiding going out because of...You know."_

_"Gib." She huffed and walked over to get her school bag. "I really do have to go, alright? And the only thing I'm avoiding at the moment, is this conversation." _

_"Yeah," he piped in, anxious to get out of there as well. "I have errands to run too."_

_Gibby sighed, looking dejected. "I...just can't believe you two broke up!"_

_"Well, believe it," Sam told him. _

_Carly rolled her eyes towards Gibby and swatted him, lightly. "Leave 'em alone, Gibby." _

_"But he's her lobster!"_

_"What?" Sam and him asked at the same time. He cleared his throat and looked away from her._

_"Oh, he's going somewhere," Carly answered, on a smirk._

_"Have you guys not seen Friends?" Gibby asked. "Come on! The lobsters...They mate for life..." _

_Freddie saw Sam give Carly a look and Carly then nodded and started to push Gibby towards the elevator. "Okay, Gibby – why don't you and Freddie go downstairs and make us some iced tea. We'll be down in a minute. How's that, huh?"_

_Carly continued to issue him towards the door with Freddie following a step behind, clearly knowing when it was time for 'girl talk.' _

_"I sang you guys a song!" Gibby called over his shoulder._

_"I know, I know," Carly shook her head trying to console him as the elevator opened._

...

A few minutes after she pulled up to the school parking lot she saw him walk through the double doors with his laptop bag over his shoulder.

She smiled automatically and unlocked the door before he reached the car and slid in.

"Hey you," he greeted her.

She smirked and leaned in towards him, kissing his cheek before sitting back. "So, how does it feel now that the shoe is on the other foot?"

He half glared. "I'll feel pretty great as long as you don't kill us on the way home."

"You wanna tell your story walking, dude?"

He laughed and tussled her hair lightly, leaning in to kiss her neck. "Thanks for the ride, babe."

"That's more like it." And she drove off, the both of them smiling.

...

_"I can't believe you," Gibby chastised him, shaking his head before pouring the iced tea. _

_Freddie groaned. He really didn't want to keep having this conversation. _

_Especially now that he had a box of his stuff back reminding him just how real this was._

_"We told you," he took a breath, turning around to put the ice tray back in the freezer, "it...just didn't work out with us."_

_"But-" _

_"Look, if it's meant to happen again, it will alright?" He forced a smile and gestured to the counter. "Now can you hand me those glasses? The girls will be down in a minute." _

_Gibby obliged, though seemingly not too happy to drop the conversation as Spencer made his way out of his bedroom. "What goes on, young men?" _

_"Hey, Spence," Freddie greeted him. _

_"Just finishing up a rehearsal. Iced tea?" Gibby offered. _

_"No thanks." Spencer gestured to his outfit before doing a quick spin. "I'll be drinking my beverages out tonight." _

_"You got a date tonight?" they heard Carly ask as she and Sam started down the steps. "Who with?"_

_"I don't wanna say," he mumbled. _

_Gibby laughed."What is she some sort of freak or something?"_

_"No, she is not," Spencer shot back._

_"Come on, tell us," Freddie prodded, with a smirk. _

_"Jenna."_

_Sam's eyes widened."The babysitter Jenna?" _

_"Seriously, Spencer?" Carly sighed. "We talked about this." _

_He put his hands up."I know, I know. But...I was really missing her. And then she called me, and apparently she was missing me too-"_

_"Spencer-" Carly tried cutting him off._

_"I really like her..."_

_"She tried to send me to bed!"_

_"The chick was nuts," Sam cut in. _

_Spencer nodded, resigned. "Well...yeah. But that's just because that's the way we knew each other back then."_

_"When you were ten," Freddie voiced, trying to follow his logic._

_"Exactly. As 'babysitter and babysit...e," he explained. "We just have to get to know each again. Get it?" _

_Gibby shrugged."Uh, not really."_

_"You're saying...when you've only had one type of relationship with someone, it's easy to get stuck in that pattern?" Sam asked._

_"There you go, Sammy."_

_"Yeah, don't call me Sammy." _

_"Fair enough," he answered and then turned back to Carly. "Look, Carly, I know there's some kinks we have to work out-"_

_Carly rose an eyebrow "Some?"_

_"Okay, a lot. But I don't know, I think it's worth it." _

_"Well," Carly sighed and then punched his arm, lightly, "in that case, go get the girl, Casanova." _

_"See," Gibby faced, Freddie. "She's his lobster."_

_Freddie just sighed, but found he couldn't take his eyes off Sam the whole time. _

...

"About visiting your uncle-"

She laughed and put the car in park before undoing her seatbelt. "You don't have to come if you don't want."

He smiled at her. "I was just going to ask you to make sure my life doesn't get threatened this time."

"Well, they're very protective of their Sammy," she explained, and offered him a teasing smile.

He quirked an eyebrow. "That so?" His voice is more than a little sarcastic and she rolls her eyes and takes a sip of the smoothie they stopped for.

"Very so."

He unbuckled his seat beat, that grin of his widening. "Then do me a favor?"

Her eyes widened. "Hm?"

"Tell them," he leaned in towards her once again–– she always found it hard to breathe when he did that, "that I plan on giving them nothing to worry about."

She beamed and tilted her head up the fraction of the inch it took to reach his lips and kissed him softly.

"I know," she whispered, smiling."Favorite boyfriend ever."

And she only meant that with him.

...

_"Here," he handed her the iced tea, tentatively._

_She took it on slow nod. "Thanks."_

_Carly cleared her throat, making him look up. "So that's a definite no on the movies tonight, you guys?"_

_"Yeah, sorry, Carls. I'm actually going to head out now." Sam grabbed her bag with a wave and then took a long breath before picking up the box of stuff he'd given back to her._

_"I'll walk you out?" he asked, picking up his things too. _

_She nodded and they said their respective goodbye to their friends before walking to the door. He held it open for her and she gave him a faint smile, walking past him and leaning against the wall. _

_He walked over to his apartment, and followed suit, resting his back against his door._

_"So," he started, trailing off and bitting his lip. _

_She stifled a laugh and shook her head. "So."_

_"Think they'll make it this time?" _

_She doesn't need to ask to ask who he's talking about and given the reason behind their own split, _  
><em>he's hanging on her answer more than he should.<em>

_"I don't know," she admitted, running her hand through he hair. "I guess if it's meant to be, there's not really any stopping it, huh? Can't stop fate..."_

_He smiled and his voice is suddenly caught in his throat. "I agree," he finally, managed. _

_"That's new for us," she joked, a slight laugh gracing her features and he can't help but smile back. _

_His eyes settle on the box she's holding, and reality sets in again. _

_He doesn't want this._

_"Hey, Sam-" _

_She blinked up and she looks disarmingly vulnerable to him in that moment; it kind of makes his heart stop. _

_"Yeah?"_

_He inhaled and reached down in the box in his hand, and pulled out the plaid shirt of his she'd given back. He tossed it back to her and she caught it with her free hand. _

_"You wear it better than I ever did, anyway," he responded when she gave a questioning look. _

_He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say, though he realized that wasn't it._

_But he hoped it was enough for now._

_She nodded with another smile, placing it in her box. "Thanks, Benson." _

_There was a long pause before she met his eyes again. "Till tomorrow?" _

_Taking a breath, he half smiled and started to turn the knob of his door. "Till tomorrow." _

_He watched her walk away, with a quick look back at him before she turned the corner._

_"If it's meant to be," he mused out loud and walked inside his place feeling a little lighter than before._

_You really can't fight fate.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it, mi amors! :) Hope this was a satisfying way to end this fic off, had a great time with this story. Let me know what you think works, your favorite partchapters - least favorite? What I did well, or not so well. You know the drill.=D**

**All the best in 2012! "Rock on, might Seddie warriors!"  
><strong>


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